Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Jobbing the Hunt

I do not know what other schools do to their first year students, and so I will tell you, oh dear reader, what my school does to first years. I do not use the word or any derivation of the word 'do' to imply something negative, rather I push your mind to infer that one does what the school tells them to do. The standard thus being set, I shall progress in a forward manner.

A regular semester includes a workload of 5 courses. Some people like to iterate these courses in terms of credits, however I do not look at the credit hours because trying to figure that out is like trying to put a diaper on a baby for the first, second, and third time. After the third time, proceed with duct tape and cotton balls. I digress. These five courses consist of torts, contracts, legal process, civil procedure, and criminal law/property I (criminal law in the fall, property I in the spring). Come the spring time, although we have the same number of courses, we are given an extra hour of class. This extra hour is an extra hour of possible Socratic Plato'ing.

Socrates: And so I divulge the pinnacle of political systems, that being...anybody...anybody? Ok, Plato, what be the pinnacle of political systems?

Plato: *CURSES POSEIDON* "Why doth thou always call on mine soul?"

Socrates: You're my only student at the moment, granite-face.

With that extra hour of class, there is an additional item that maximizes the agenda. This additional item is known as the job search. Tons of applications, cover letters, resumes, and memos to send out. And that occurs after one has found the places to which they would like to apply. The job search is very much a sixth course. If one does not finish this course as quickly as possible, the credit hours pile on as the semester goes by.

I should go prepare for my sixth course.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Contracting my Brain

Today, I read a case that was about ten pages. I read it in a half hour. I was pleased with myself. Then I realized that I had just read ten pages of a judge defining "flood". That was it. "Hi, I am the judge, let me take you through the process of how to look up the word 'flood' in dictionaries, encyclopedias, and other sources. But hey, you don't have to take my word for it."

And then three kids by the name of Columbia, Webster, and Louis shared their own definitions of flood.

(sing to Reading Rainbow theme)
Water on the ground, look its flooding now
Take a swim, on a whim - Flooding Orleans

I can row anywhere!
Houses go as rivers flow - Flooding Orleans

I can get no coverage!
Take a swim, on a whim - Flooding Orleans

Flooding Orleans, Flooding Orleans, Flooding Orleans, Flooding Orleans

I am a terrible person.